Bushwack Peak With my bud Lloyd Fergeson

Well hot dang, I need be gettin' some hikin' picks up for all you people out there. My bud Lloyd Fergeson and I decided to scale a big ol' rock outside of Jasper, Oregon. Here's what happened.

So, Lloyd and I got out to Jasper and spied this rock just juttin' out of the ground. I said to Lloyd "Looky there, you old dog, that looks like something I want to climb."

Lloyd responded, "yep"

So we just got some gear, got a big ol' knife and started down a loggin' road.

Lloyd brought his camera along to document the hike. Here he is posing.

The Machete for cuttin' bushes and what not.

Well, After we hiked down the road for a while, we found a clearing with deer tracks everywhere. So we scurried up that darn hill! Good grief was it a steep one too! It felt like 90 degree incline! Anywho, we got to the top of the ridge and thought we were probably close to the summit. HA! No sir ree bob! we still had at least five or six furlongs to go.

Here I'd be at the top of the first ridge.

Here we are going to a big rock that was just out there.

I'm about to make that rock mine!

The view from the rock was brilliant. Wish I could take it home with me.

So after the big ol' rock just sittin' there, we kept going down dat der ridge to get to the summit. There was a crud ton of bushes and brush we had to go get through, but once we got through dem, it was smooth sailin'!

Yep, there are cliffs there. Here I am lookin' down one. All I remember was thinking "SHOOT DANG SON!"

After want seemed like 2 hours, which it was, we made it to the summit. What a View!! You can see a bunch o' stuff everywhere. This is when Lloyd went camera crazy and tooka ton of photos. Here they are for your viewing enjoyment.

Lloyd is a dope!

Welp, thats about it!

Horace and Mt. Rainer

So, Sumbuddy asked me about this story that I swear by, so here is what they wrote. Hope you like it. It has some of my edits in it too...

I don't know if you have ever heard of a fella named Horace Culmer. Have you? He is actually still alive and kicking it at an age he claims to be 126 years of age, which would make him, if he proved it, the oldest man ever! Anyway, ever since he was a boy, he wanted to make a name for himself. He tried to become a cow wrangler, but he couldn't stand the smell. He tried to be a gun slinger, but he was afraid of guns! He even tried being a dentist, but the smell got to him as well. So Horace did the only thing he really knew how to do, Look for something to do. So, he climbed on his horse and rode to the nearest big town, which happened to be Seattle, Washington and looked for something to do.

Now, in those days, Seattle didn't have a space needle, or the big ol' domes, or lots of people for that matter, but it did have a big mountain called Mt. Rainer and no one had been able to climb to the top yet.

So when Horace got into town and found out there would be a reward for the first person to get to the top and put a flag up. He has smitten at the idea and started to figure out how he was going to do it. He talked to people who had attempted the journey but didn't make it up. They told him "It can't be done, you ain't got the skill and your beard will get in the way!"

Oh I forgot to mention that Horace had a massive beard, and has never shaved it (Until last month, actually when his live in girlfriend found a cat living in it!).

He was proud of his beard too. At this time, it was about 4 feet long and he was only about 5 foot, so it was very close to the ground. He would throw it over his shoulder when he went anywhere just so it wouldn't slow him down.

Anyway, back to the mountain.

So Horace thought that, through all his research and talkins’ that he would attempt the mountain from the north face at 2 in the morning from a base camp about 8 thousand feet from the top.
So, he knew that there was a bunch of snow, so he took two bear traps and flipped them upside down and strapped his leather shoes to them.

People asked him how he did it, and he just said "I just grabbed dem der boots and traps and cramped dem on!" Thus coining the name crampons.

He took a bunch of food, a knife, his dog Boris, and a pair of goggles that he constructed out of oak, which he called his "Oakeys" thus creating the brand "Oakleys" and headed up the mountain.

He was surprised at how easy it was for the first 3000 feet. Nothing really got in his way! He was just cruising along, singing songs about brakemen, and throwing a bone for Boris. He thought this was going to be a walk in the park.

His path lead him up a large ice sheet that was probably a hundred acres or so, so he decided to put on his crampons. The weather thus far had been lovely, but he noticed something in the distance that resembled a thunder cloud, but he couldn't tell because it was still early in the morning.

He got his crampons on and scurried up the ice sheet to the top edge where he started to hit some harder terrain. Boris, a Komondor breed which had long hair like Horace, easily hopped over a crevasse and up to the next peak. Horace on the other hand found this much more difficult and took his time getting up.

After what seemed like an hour of struggling and skedaddlin', Horace made it to the next pinnacle where he could see the summit. He was elated and decided to take a break and eat some food.
After a nice break and some good ol' fashion grits he packed, he head back up the mountain. At about a thousand feet from the top, something happened that would change his life forever. He died. Just kiddin'! No, out if the corner of his eye something moved. A big white thing. He stopped in his tracks and turned very slowly...

It was Boris, That silly dog! But Boris looked kinda big! And was on his uprights. "Boris, you dirty dog, what in the sam pickin's are you doin'?

Then from behind him he heard Boris Bark. "Wait a split second here, if Boris is behind me, what is this big ol' white furry thing on two legs in front of me?" Horace thought for a minute or two and then realized it was his competition! Yeah, someone was trying to get to the top before him! "You puke! I'm going to get the reward not you, you slimy two bit fur thing!" So Horace, not thinking very much but rather going on instinct, and maybe a poor one, started to climb up the mountain.

The weather had just turned downright nasty but that reward was in site and Horace didn't want no fur thing getting there before him. He jumped over crevasses, leaped up big rocks, climbed over huge ice cliffs and was about 200 feet from the top when the snow started and whipped him around like a spun upside-down turtle.

Horace hunkered down behind a chunk of ice. One thing that Horace never lacked was determination, so he plowed through the snow and made his way up to the top. No weather was going to stop him, but maybe an earthquake! At this point, everything shook violently because, as we all know, Mt. Rainer is an active volcano! Horace was tossed two and fro and suddenly lost his footing and slid 100 feet and down a crevasse.

He thought it was the end and started to fall but suddenly he stopped and felt a bit of pain. He looked up and there, holding Horace’s beard in one hand and Boris in the other was a giant white furry mop thing that looked a lot like Boris but just bigger and on his upright. He had caught Horace be the tip of the beard (Not pleasant, but it saved him) and pulled him up out of the crevasse.

OOOOOOOK, said the big hairy furry upright dog thing. Horace, who surprisingly remained calm, said "Let go of dat beard der and let me get a good look at you! Well I'll be a savage painter; you’re a big oversized Boris looking thing on two legs. And you be holdin' my dog! You must be friends! Well Hot pots, you wanna go to the top with me?"

The big dog looking Upright character said, "OURURKKNMGNGGNG" which Horace took as a yes and they three headed up to the top of the mountain. They got there and it was really bad weather still so the view wasn't that great. Then with satisfaction, Horace dug in his bag and pulled out the.... the... "Oh fiddle sticks in stir-fry, I forgot the flag." He looked at the furry upright dog thing holding Boris, and rolled on the floor laughing, which the furry thingy-ma-bob said "ROFL" Coining the term ROFL.

So that is how John Muir, Climbing it the next day, became the first verified person to peak Mt. Rainer, Not Horace Culmer.

Welp it’s a bummer, but that’s the way the Coffee Boils.

Welcome to This Place

I'm Horace Culmer and I'm here to make the world a better place, but more importantly, I'm here to talk to you about some Hikin' and Bushwakin' and some hoboin'. I'm Old. I've been around town and back and I'd like to tell you a little about it. So just sit right down there and check out what I got to say.

Let's get one thing straight, I'm the inventer of the hobo dinner. I've edited the story on Wikipedia for you so i'll just paste it in here. I'm new to this "technology stuff" so bear with me here. Huk Huk.


Hobo Dinner (Hobitunus Dinnoaceae, pronounced /Hoe boe Diynyr/ ) is a member of the Imhoemlessandhungeri Family. It is best known for its vegetative nature and long history of varieties.

The term was coined in the 1903 by a Horace Culmer. Horace was a hobo for life. Born on a train between Texas and Oklahoma, Horace knew the life from the start. He never met his mother, whom he swore was a sheep dog or his father, whom he was dedicated to believing was a Bison. He never had a Job, but made money selling his hair, which he kept very long (3 meters in the back, 2 meters for the beard). He never lived in one place but rather loved to travel. He told of one story where he caught a train from Amsterdam to the Berlin Germany, where he hitched a ride on the nearest flight, which happened to be of Wiley Post, who, with Horace on board, flew around the entire world. Horace had to survive on his fingernails and hair for 7 days and 19 hours, which was generally a normal diet for Horace. Wiley was thought to be the first solo pilot to do this world flight, but was shocked to see Horace climb out of the back of the plane. Horace was quoted saying “gal darn it! We’d be back where we started from. Who is the sum-o-bit who flew this darn tootin’ plane hea’m anyway?”
Wiley, enraged said “Tis I, you filthy perp!”
Horace replied “I’s wants my money, hair and fingernails back, you dirty ol’ pigeon dodger!” Thus, people now use this term, dirty ol’ pigeon dodger, when talking to pilots.

More importantly, Horace coined the Hobo dinner when he hitched a ride on the Old 97 in 1903 from Danville, Virginia. Horace was just hungry as all get out and didn’t have anything to eat. He was sick of eating his fingernails and hair, so he rummaged through the boxes, which he found to be mail, and discovered vegetables and some tin foil. Well, savvy as he was, he brewed a fire right on the train and stuck the veggies in the tinfoil and set it over the fire. About 20 minutes later he had a pippin’ hot meal, and proceeded to enjoy it. Well, Come to find out, the fire got out of control, and entered the lower part of the of the train and set fire to its axel, which was covered in flammable grease. Horace jumped out the car and luckily walked away with only a bruise on is eyebrow (he saved the dinner of course). When he stood up, he saw the train go over a 75 foot trestle, and the train derailed and plunged into the ravine below. Horace was then coined saying “shoot dang, OMG!” he proceeded to lol (Laugh out Loud) to the point of rofl (rolling on the floor laughing) before he gthoot (got the heck out of there!).

Anyways, ingredients to the Infamous Hobo Dinner, By. Horace Culmer:
1) Tin Foil
2) Cabbage leaves
3) Any veggies you find on a mail car (aka, Carrots, Celery, Potatoes, tomatoes, asparagus, squash, peppers, Garlic cloves, onions, or whatever veggies you wants)
4) Salt and peppa (pepper)
5) Dats it!

Now, Horace did say, before he died at a ripe old age of 105, that “hobo dinners are like mosquiters, oh dang, ahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” then he died. No one knows what he was going to say.

So I added that I died because I don't want no twirps followin' me around! So anyway, I'm alive and well and stuff. They call me the oldest man alive "unverified" but I don't give a hoot!

I'll get to the hiking soon. Don't you worry.