Welcome to This Place

I'm Horace Culmer and I'm here to make the world a better place, but more importantly, I'm here to talk to you about some Hikin' and Bushwakin' and some hoboin'. I'm Old. I've been around town and back and I'd like to tell you a little about it. So just sit right down there and check out what I got to say.

Let's get one thing straight, I'm the inventer of the hobo dinner. I've edited the story on Wikipedia for you so i'll just paste it in here. I'm new to this "technology stuff" so bear with me here. Huk Huk.


Hobo Dinner (Hobitunus Dinnoaceae, pronounced /Hoe boe Diynyr/ ) is a member of the Imhoemlessandhungeri Family. It is best known for its vegetative nature and long history of varieties.

The term was coined in the 1903 by a Horace Culmer. Horace was a hobo for life. Born on a train between Texas and Oklahoma, Horace knew the life from the start. He never met his mother, whom he swore was a sheep dog or his father, whom he was dedicated to believing was a Bison. He never had a Job, but made money selling his hair, which he kept very long (3 meters in the back, 2 meters for the beard). He never lived in one place but rather loved to travel. He told of one story where he caught a train from Amsterdam to the Berlin Germany, where he hitched a ride on the nearest flight, which happened to be of Wiley Post, who, with Horace on board, flew around the entire world. Horace had to survive on his fingernails and hair for 7 days and 19 hours, which was generally a normal diet for Horace. Wiley was thought to be the first solo pilot to do this world flight, but was shocked to see Horace climb out of the back of the plane. Horace was quoted saying “gal darn it! We’d be back where we started from. Who is the sum-o-bit who flew this darn tootin’ plane hea’m anyway?”
Wiley, enraged said “Tis I, you filthy perp!”
Horace replied “I’s wants my money, hair and fingernails back, you dirty ol’ pigeon dodger!” Thus, people now use this term, dirty ol’ pigeon dodger, when talking to pilots.

More importantly, Horace coined the Hobo dinner when he hitched a ride on the Old 97 in 1903 from Danville, Virginia. Horace was just hungry as all get out and didn’t have anything to eat. He was sick of eating his fingernails and hair, so he rummaged through the boxes, which he found to be mail, and discovered vegetables and some tin foil. Well, savvy as he was, he brewed a fire right on the train and stuck the veggies in the tinfoil and set it over the fire. About 20 minutes later he had a pippin’ hot meal, and proceeded to enjoy it. Well, Come to find out, the fire got out of control, and entered the lower part of the of the train and set fire to its axel, which was covered in flammable grease. Horace jumped out the car and luckily walked away with only a bruise on is eyebrow (he saved the dinner of course). When he stood up, he saw the train go over a 75 foot trestle, and the train derailed and plunged into the ravine below. Horace was then coined saying “shoot dang, OMG!” he proceeded to lol (Laugh out Loud) to the point of rofl (rolling on the floor laughing) before he gthoot (got the heck out of there!).

Anyways, ingredients to the Infamous Hobo Dinner, By. Horace Culmer:
1) Tin Foil
2) Cabbage leaves
3) Any veggies you find on a mail car (aka, Carrots, Celery, Potatoes, tomatoes, asparagus, squash, peppers, Garlic cloves, onions, or whatever veggies you wants)
4) Salt and peppa (pepper)
5) Dats it!

Now, Horace did say, before he died at a ripe old age of 105, that “hobo dinners are like mosquiters, oh dang, ahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” then he died. No one knows what he was going to say.

So I added that I died because I don't want no twirps followin' me around! So anyway, I'm alive and well and stuff. They call me the oldest man alive "unverified" but I don't give a hoot!

I'll get to the hiking soon. Don't you worry.